Assignment 2

Dear furry friends,

Life among giants mean loud noises. All the time.

The worse thing (besides finding my own poop in my hay) is being woken up by a hairdryer.

Today I woke up to the roar of Jils drying her hair. It was 7 o’clock in the morning. I spilled my water bottle yesterday and I had no problem letting my fur air dry. I don’t understand why she needs to do that 😦 She not only gets more precious sleepy time, but also save me many hairdryer induced nightmares (today I was being chased by a lawnmower driven by Rabbit from the Winnie the Pooh cartoons I love). To us small animals, even the slightest noises sound like horrible cacophonies of whining demons. But you have remember that to humans, this constant ratchet is second nature to them.

I felll back asleep after a while only to be reawakened by the neighbours mowing their lawns. I think I would have had a bunny heart attack (to you cynical critters, bunnies do get heart attacks) if it really was Rabbit on the mower. I hid under my hay and try to go back to sleep. But to my utmost horror, Jils dad-human started vacuuming the house. Vacuum cleaners are my biggest fear. It sounds like an earthquake to bunnies and it sucks everything in sight. What if one day I get sucked into it and never get to see my giants again?

Bunny versus vacuum

Jils came running down the stairs, shouting (did I mention how loud humans are?): “It’s okay bun-bun! I am so sorry!” and promptly carried me into the garage to hide from  the vacuum. “Oh god you’re shaking you poor thing…I am so sorry I was late little dude,” she said sadly, stroking my head. I nuzzled into her left foot, silently thanking her for being so protective. She knows I’m deathly afraid of vacuum cleaners and we would always hide out in the garage when the monster machine was in use. So friends, make sure you let your fear and displeasure show when you’re scared of something or your humans will never know and you’ll always have to live in fear.

I ran around in the garage, enjoying the rare bout of silence. Jils was reading this book called We need to talk about Kevin and was being unusually quiet. After a long while, Jils carted me back into the house and fed me my favourite banana muffin-treats. Then Jils family started watching the telly. Winnie the Pooh was on! I hopped around and did some binkies. The telly is the one loud thing that I don’t mind. As Tigger was doing his hopping routine, there was a loud crash outside. That would be the giants that lived in the opposite house. They are always throwing things and shouting really really loud. It’s like the humans in there don’t like each other very much. We heard all their yelling through our open windows. Did I warn you how loud humans are?

“How dare you buy her that puppy?! WITHOUT my consent! Are you completely OUT OF your mind?!!!” the female human yelled. She sounded insane.

“It was a birthday present, Laurie! What the heck, she’s old enough! She LOVES dogs for fuck’s sake and this will help her learn to be responsible!” the male human retorted. His voice boomed like the bark of a Great Dane. But despite his loud voice, he sounded so helpless, like when my friend Leo the puppy who barked incessantly when he was about to get neutered.

“AND YOU BUY HER A DOG??? Do you KNOW how hard it is to take care of a dog?! And it’s going to end up being ME taking care of it anyway!! Why couldn’t you start with a stupid bunny?! (Hey, I don’t think I’m stupid) YOU DIDN’T EVEN TALK TO ME ABOUT THIS WALTER.”

A bunny? YOU? You woulda ended up cooking it for dinner!”

At that, Jils got up so fast that she knocked her head on the lamp in process. She looked really mad. With some loud thuds, she stormed out of the house and slammed the door behind her. Crash. There were some muffled yelling and more loud thuds.

After a few minutes, Jils came back into the house and cradled me. “That’d teach them to not be so goddamn loud,”
I stifled a laughter.

The rest of the day was filled with the loud noises of the telly, cooking, and Jils’ freaking out about stuff as per usual.

So my furry friends, life among giants means dealing with loud noises. All the time. If it really bothers you, let them know you’re afraid or uncomfortable and they’ll be there to comfort you! And as you’ll discover, as long as they’re there for you, a few occasional earthquakes are going to be okay.

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